Does Your Brain Ever Bend The Truth?

Here’s Why (And What to Do About It)

Have you ever made one small mistake and immediately felt like a "total failure"? Or found yourself feeling guilty and frustrated because you think you "should" be doing things differently? If so, you're not alone. Our brains have a funny way of interpreting the world, and sometimes, they don't get it 100% right.

These automatic, and often inaccurate, thought patterns are called cognitive distortions. Think of them as mental shortcuts or filters that our brains use. They happen to everyone and are a normal part of being human. The great news is that once you learn to spot them, you can work with them and if necessary reduce their power.

Why Our Brains Create These "Shortcuts"

It's easy to be hard on ourselves for this kind of thinking, but it's not a character flaw. These mental habits likely developed to keep us safe. For our ancestors, making a snap judgment was often a "better-safe-than-sorry" survival strategy. In a dangerous situation, assuming the worst and reacting quickly was less risky than taking time to think things through deliberately.

The problem is, this ancient "threat detection system" is still running in our modern world, and whilst occasionally this can be helpful, more often it can cause a lot of unnecessary stress and unhappiness.

Three Thinking Traps You Might Fall Into

While there are many unhelpful thinking styles, here are three very common ones you might recognize.

• All-or-Nothing Thinking
  This is thinking in extremes. You see yourself, other people, or situations in black-and-white terms—either perfect or terrible, a success or a complete failure, with no room for a middle ground. For example, you might think, "If I'm not the best at my job, then I'm a failure."

• Overgeneralization
  This happens when you take one single negative event and turn it into a never-ending pattern of defeat. You might make a sweeping, self-defeating conclusion based on just one experience. They are often populated with words like “total”, “always”, “never” For instance, after one difficult social interaction, you might think, "I'm always so awkward. I'll never make friends. I’m a total social failure"

• "Should" Statements
  This involves having strict, fixed rules about how you, other people, and the world are supposed to operate. When reality doesn't match your rules, it can lead to feelings of guilt, anger, or frustration. You might find yourself thinking things like, "I should be more productive," or "People should be more considerate."

How to Gently Talk Back to Your Thoughts

Just noticing these patterns is a huge first step. When you're ready, here are two simple ways to start questioning them.

1. Become a Thought Detective 🕵️‍♀️

Instead of just accepting a thought as fact, get curious and look for the evidence. Ask yourself:

• What is the evidence that
  actually supports this thought?
  
  

• What are some facts or experiences that
  don't fit with this thought?
  
  

This helps you see the situation from a more balanced and realistic perspective, rather than through the narrow lens of the distortion.

2. Ask "What Would I Tell a Friend?" ❤️

We are often much harder on ourselves than we are on the people we care about. When you notice a harsh or critical thought, pause and ask:

• What would I say to a dear friend who was thinking this way?
  
  

• How would I help them see the situation more kindly and realistically?
  
  

This simple shift in perspective can help you offer yourself the same compassion and support you would easily give to someone else.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Learning to identify and challenge these unhelpful thinking styles is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice. It’s a key part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and can lead to real, lasting emotional change.

If you recognised yourself in any of these patterns and are tired of feeling stuck, you don't have to figure it out on your own. Working with a therapist can provide you with the tools and support to change these habits for good.

If you’re ready to relate differently to your negative thoughts and improve your well-being, please reach out to book a free telephone consultation. We’re here to help.