Five Guiding Questions to Help You Find the Right Therapist

Finding the right therapy and therapist

A Guide to Help You Find the Right Therapist

Finding the right therapist can feel like a big decision. Whether you're in Wallingford, Oxford, Didcot, Henley-on-Thames, Abingdon, or any of the surrounding villages in South Oxfordshire, there are a lot of options to choose and taking that first step towards seeking support is a significant act of self-care. It's about finding a professional who understands your unique challenges and can guide you effectively.

As a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist (CBT) here at Sinodun Hill CBT, I believe in empowering individuals with the tools they need to navigate life's difficulties. To help you on your journey, here are five guiding questions to consider when looking for the right therapist for you, whether you're seeking face-to-face sessions or the flexibility of online therapy.

1. What Kind of Therapy Am I Looking For? (And What Does it Mean?)

There are a confusing number of therapeutic approaches, each with its own focus (in fact there are hundreds of different approaches). Below is very simplistic list, you might have already heard terms like CBT, psychotherapy, counselling, or psychodynamic therapy. I am a highly qualified CBT therapist and currently training in IFS, practicing both here at sinodunhillcbt.com. If either counselling or psychodynamic therapy description appeals to you, then do a google search using these terms and that will help get you to the right place. Feel free to reach out if you are stuck.

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

Think of CBT as a personal trainer for your mind. It's a practical, goal-oriented approach that focuses on the here and now, it also has the most scientific research and deepest evidence base.

• Main Idea: Your thoughts, feelings, and actions are all connected. By changing unhelpful thought patterns or behaviours, you can change how you feel.

• A session feels like: A structured, collaborative session. You'll learn specific tools and techniques (like exercises) to challenge negative thoughts and practice new ways of reacting to situations. You might even get "homework" to practice these skills between sessions.

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IFS (Internal Family Systems)

Think of IFS like the movie "Inside Out". It sees you as being made up of many different "parts," each with its own beliefs and motivations.

• Main Idea: We all have parts, like an anxious part, a critical part, or a fun-loving part. Sometimes these parts are in conflict. The goal of IFS is to get to know these parts, understand why they do what they do, and help them work together in harmony, led by your calm, compassionate core Self.

• A session feels like: A curious and compassionate exploration of your inner world. You'll learn to identify your different parts and communicate with them, healing the ones that are hurt and bringing balance to your internal "family."

Counselling

Think of counselling as a supportive guide on a difficult hike. It's often focused on helping you navigate a specific, current life challenge.

• Main Idea: Having a safe, non-judgmental space to talk through your problems can provide clarity and support. The counsellor acts as a skilled listener who helps you explore your feelings and find your own solutions.

• A session feels like: A supportive conversation. You lead the way, talking about what's on your mind, whether it's grief, stress at work, or a relationship issue. The counsellor listens, reflects, and helps you process your thoughts and feelings.

Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

Think of psychodynamic therapy as emotional archaeology. It focuses on how your past, especially your early life experiences, unconsciously affects your present-day feelings and behaviour.

• Main Idea: By exploring the roots of your current struggles, often found in your past, you can gain deep insight into why you feel or act the way you do. This understanding can free you from repeating unhelpful patterns.

• A session feels like: A deeper, more exploratory conversation. You might talk about your childhood, your dreams, and recurring patterns in your relationships. The therapist helps you make connections between your past and your present.

There is more..

Like I said, there are lots and lots of different types of therapy, many of them have a strong-evidence base behind too, the above is just a selection to help get you thinking about your needs and preferences.

2. What Are Their Qualifications and Experience?

It’s important to work with a qualified and experienced professional. Don’t hesitate to ask about a therapist’s training, certifications, and professional registrations.

• Are they accredited by relevant professional bodies (e.g., BABCP for CBT therapists, or BACP for counsellors). If you are not sure if the are accredited then check, most professional bodies have a register of accredited practitioners, for instance you can find me on the BABCP register here? 

• How long have they been practicing?

• Do they have specific experience with the issues you're facing, such as Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, OCD, or managing stress?

A transparent therapist will happily share this information, ensuring you feel confident in their expertise.

3. Do They Offer the Flexibility I Need: In-Person, Online Therapy or a mix of the two?

Location and convenience are key factors. Consider whether you prefer to meet in person or if online therapy fits better into your lifestyle.

• In-person sessions offer a dedicated, quiet space away from home, which many find beneficial. If you're based in or near Wallingford, my practice offers a discreet and comfortable environment.

• Online therapy, conducted via secure video link, provides incredible flexibility. It means you can access support from the comfort of your home or office, making it ideal for those with busy schedules, limited mobility, or if you live further afield in areas like Goring, Cholsey, Benson, or even beyond Oxfordshire. It allows consistent therapy without the commute, fitting seamlessly into your life. In addition I regularly offer one-off oline therapy sessions when access to my consulting rooms is difficult.  In my role within the NHS, as a consultant psychotherapist, I see patients from all over the country and regularly work online, so I already have a well developed system in place to deliver effective online therapy. See my other article for more on this topic.

4. What Does Their Therapeutic Style Feel Like?

This is often called the "therapeutic relationship," and it's incredibly important. A good fit often comes down to personality and how comfortable you feel.

• Do you feel heard and understood?

• Do they communicate clearly and non-judgmentally?

• Does their approach feel collaborative?

Many therapists offer a brief initial consultation (often free) where you can chat, ask questions, and get a feel for their style before committing to a full session. This is a great opportunity to gauge that vital connection. I would also suggest really thinking about this aspect during the first few sessions, as sometimes 15 minutes is not enough. Do some “window shopping”, try things on for size and fit. Having this approach takes the pressure off having to get the decision perfect the first time.

5. What Are the Logistics? Fees, Availability, and Cancellation Policy?

Practical considerations are also important for a smooth therapeutic journey.

• Fees: Be clear about session costs and payment methods.

• Availability: Does their availability align with yours?

• Cancellation Policy: Understand their policy regarding missed or cancelled appointments.

Having this information upfront helps to avoid any surprises and ensures you can focus entirely on your therapy.

Taking the time to ask these questions will empower you to make an informed decision and find a therapist who is truly the right match for you. If you're exploring Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in Wallingford or considering online CBT, please don't hesitate to reach out to Sinodun Hill CBT for an initial chat. We're here to help you take that next step.